this post has no point

Today was a bit crazy. I went on my church's college retreat this weekend. Retreats are starting to feel different as I get older. They seem less and less like micro-summer camps, and I'm not quite sure what they feel like instead. It's just different. I guess it seems now like I come away from such things without the 'spiritual highs' I used to get. Now, it's more like I walk away with a ton of questions that I'm not sure can be answered.

Not to say it was a bad weekend. It was good. I think I learned a lot of things that will probly make sense in a month or two, though I don't have a clue what to make of them at the moment.

And, taking the weekend off means that I didn't do any of the hundreds of things I was supposed to do for school. I'm a little behind. And, I got caught up writing a song last night, so that didn't help either.

School today was interesting. I'm one of six guys in our nursing class, meaning we're in there with 23 females. One of them found out she was pregnant this weekend. The ensuing conversations today revealed far more about the female anatomy than I think I really want to know. I think I'm still innocent . . . maybe. If so, I get the impression that won't be the case for very much longer.

On the retreat, one girl kinda pointed out (or re-pointed out) to me that I'm still in a transition stage. Today that felt very accurate. It was one of those days where I felt really restless in my heart, like I'm ready for something new. I'm confined to this area at least for another year, but today was one of those days where if I could, I probly would have packed up and moved really far away if I had the shot. I'm not sure if it's the season change, or maybe that I just feel really disconnected from things that used to make me feel like this area was home. It doesn't feel much like home right now. My parents house doen't feel much like it either.

Maybe that's what I'm in transition to. And, I'm not giving some cliche', "this world is not my home speech". I think it's human nature to make a home while we're on earth. Maybe it's imperfect and transitory, but it is a home. That's more what I'm talking about. Right now I just don't have home at all, which for me, means I'm ready to migrate when it feels like that might be a smart idea. That was the other thing today that I probably should praise God for, I just felt lighter. Like some burdens had been lifted. I didn't really feel euphoric or anything, but just a little bit relieved and a little bit more hopeful. . . . and very much ready for something new and different in life.

Today wasn't a day where life felt very coherent. I'm not totally sure what to make of it. It was a bit weird, but good. There, that's my journaling for the day. . . . back to ulcers and the integumentary system. hooray skin . . . .